Hopeful

From the beginning
they told me I was too quiet

which is why when I was assaulted
I blamed myself,

I thought I must have somehow
consented to what he did to me

I thought my silence must have meant yes;

trying to heal feels way too much
like being punished for what he did,

I have thought about leaving forever,
but I never want to give him the satisfaction

he has taken so much from me already,

when the night gets lonely

and the world seems no bigger
than the space in my mind

I write over and over and over again
that I will be okay;

when the world feels like it is
shattering around me-

I promise myself I will not shatter with it;

on the days when all I can think about
are the details of what he did

I remind myself I am not the broken one;

and when this body feels like it no longer belongs to me-

I remember that this body never belonged to him.

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