Victim/Survivor

I never knew darkness could be so loud- how powerful memories can be when you can’t quite remember them; he embodies every trauma I have ever experienced- when the front door of the house inside of your soul has been broken down so many times it is easy to feel abandoned- like no one in the world will ever be on your side; I know victim and survivor are just two words with the same meaning- but one is just so much more powerful than the other- more respected; I wonder which one you see me as- I wonder which one I see myself as; I want to know when I’ll stop apologizing for what happened, when will safety make its much awaited debut back into my life again; the counselor tells me I can tell her what happened- the counselor begs me to tell her what happened- the counselor constantly calls me a victim; it’s only when I stop talking to her about it does she refer to me as a survivor- I wonder if she realizes that she’s the one who begged me to talk about it in the first place.